Heh, Heh, I Love These Guys!

HAH!!!

Well, here ya go folks, proof that atheistics an' evolushunaries are jus' plain wrong:

Hey, It's a Puke-a-Palooza!

Warnin', there's some pukin' involved here, but check it out:



Maybe this'll make people fergit 'bout what my Daddy did vomitin' all over the Japanese Prime Minister:

Why Doesn't Anyone Want Me?

I think I'm gonna cry. Here I is, a two-term Presidint an' none a' the candidates fer the Republican nominificashun wants me on there campaign trail. WHY?!?

Update: I'm feelin' better now. Apparently, Pink wansta take a walk with me. Woo hoo:

Shippin' an' Handlin' Not Included

Actually, truth is stranger than jokin': check it out.

An' if I had friends like this, not shur what that would make my enemas:

Reportably put together by one of Meyer's self proclaimed friends.

Absolutely Outrageous!

I can't believe what occured at a speech by John Kerry at the University of Florida. A student was tasered:



Now that was jus' Wrong!!!

See, if it was one of my speeches, the guy would not have even been able ta get anywhere near a microphone . . .

Michael "Snot Funny" Mukasey

I don't know what all the political fuss is 'bout my new pick fer AG, Michael Mukasey. There ain't nuthin' political 'bout it. Ta be honest, when I first herd his name, I thunk to myself, Hey, his name kinda sounds like "mucus," bet I could come up with some purdy choice nicknames. Like Michael "Get-the-Phlegm-Out" Mukasey or Mikey "The Mucus" Mukasey.

But once I got to know the guy an' had my staffers read his resume to me, I realized that Mukasey--in addishun to havin' a purdy funny name--is a dang qualified nominee. So he's got my full backin'.

An' to show y'all how serious I am 'bout backin' this fella, each an' every Senator who votes to confirmify Mukasey will receive the followin' gift fer free*:

Yer very own Mukasey Chia head. Note the likeness.



*Shipping and Handling not included.

Greenspan Greensham

What the hell has big Al Greenspan got against me?!? Deficit this an' over-spendin' that . . .

Hey buddy, I'm managin' a country here--well, two countries if you count Iraq . . . okay, three countries if you count Afghanistan --anyway, so it's not like I got a lotta time to pay attention to silly li'l figures an' budgets an' stuff. Jus' print the money, an' I'll take care a' the rest.

At any rate, I don't see why he has to get all snitty.

Shear Genus!!!

Man, I am jus' a genus! Here I am rollin' out my gradual troop cuts--5,700 by Christmas an' 21,500 by July--but since the surge itself was 30,000 there'll be more troops in Iraq next summer than there were before this summer. Heh, heh, such genus. I have an' overall troop increase an' get ta claim credit fer a cut. An' on top a' that, them silly Dems don't even notice. Can't do math I guess.

Four Score . . .

Looks like Shinzo Abe is resignin' as Prime Minister o' Japan. I'll sure miss Abe, but he was a li'l slow at times. I remember askin' why his family an' so many other family's in Japan were such big fans of Abe Lincoln--I mean, what with takin' his name an' all. Prime Minister Abe jus' looked at me kinda funny like. You'd think a politician o' his stature could answer a simple inquestation.

Vanessa Hudgens Nude Photo!!!

Hey, if I can't catch any kinda rise outta my shitty poll numbers, at least maybe I can try to get an ego boost by tryin' ta increasify in my web traffic.

Can't Keep a Hard Man Down

Well, looks like Larry Craig ain't done yet. I hear he's even talkin' with O.J. 'bout helpin' him find his wife's real killer. 'Fact, rumor has it Craig's got a book deal in the works that he'll soon be promotin' on FOX.

Book's title?

If I Tapped It.

Not Quite What He Had in Mind

Well, I guess Larry Craig has gone down--maybe not the way he wanted ta (wink, wink), but down nonetheless . . .