From Porn to Honorariums
I think I mighta gone a li'l blinded from watchin' all that porn this weekend. Man, an' I'm not invitin' Clarence over any more. Left a hair on my soda can, an it din't come from his head neither.
Anyway, today I'm honorin' eight people with the Medal o' Freedom. I'm really excited too, 'cause one of 'em is the writer of "Mockin'bird." Man, I useta love that song when my momma sung it to me. "Hush li'l darlin' don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird . . . " Fact, jus' as a secret 'tween you an me, sometimes late at night I ask Laura to sing it to me still. Can't wait to meet the woman who wrote that heavenly song.
Update: Okay, I din't give no medal to the writer of the Mockin'bird song. Turns out I gave a Medal o' Freedom to some gal named Harper Lee who wrote some kinda book called To Kill a Mockin'bird. Sounds familiar. I think I mighta skipped readin' that in college. Anyway, to make matters worse, when I asked her if she'd sing the song anyway, she wouldn't do. Jus' gave me a mean ol' stare an' walked away.
Anyway, today I'm honorin' eight people with the Medal o' Freedom. I'm really excited too, 'cause one of 'em is the writer of "Mockin'bird." Man, I useta love that song when my momma sung it to me. "Hush li'l darlin' don't say a word, Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird . . . " Fact, jus' as a secret 'tween you an me, sometimes late at night I ask Laura to sing it to me still. Can't wait to meet the woman who wrote that heavenly song.
Update: Okay, I din't give no medal to the writer of the Mockin'bird song. Turns out I gave a Medal o' Freedom to some gal named Harper Lee who wrote some kinda book called To Kill a Mockin'bird. Sounds familiar. I think I mighta skipped readin' that in college. Anyway, to make matters worse, when I asked her if she'd sing the song anyway, she wouldn't do. Jus' gave me a mean ol' stare an' walked away.
posted by Dubya | 7:08 AM
5 Comments:
You could always use the pube to floss with while beating your meat to Mockingbird. Multitask dude!
Sir, the look on her face speaks volumes!
It looks like she thought you were going to steal her purse.
Chickie, he is stealing her social security.
Preposterous: Eeeewww!!! Why would I use an old lady's pube that wasn't my momma's to do that?
Chickie: I don't need her purse. I mean we searched it an' all it had was an ol' brush, a pack o' gum, an' sum lint encrusted life savers.
Sara Sue: Let's get the facts straight. I'm not tryin' to steal her social security. I'm tryin' to steal all y'all's social security.
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