A Message to Hezbollah, and to Terrorists

Sung to the tune of the Spice Girls’ “Wannabe” (Works best if you imagine me an' Nasrallah exchangin' lines in the chorus):

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
really really really wanna sniff, sniff . . . ahh.

If you want a future you hafta leave yer past,
If you wanna get with me you better do it fast,
Now stop your launching rockets please,
Play nice with Israel and the war will ease.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
really really really wanna sniff, sniff . . . ahh.

If you wanna be my ally, you gotta get with my friends,
Kiss kiss with Israel and friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my ally, you have got to give;
Katushyas are too easy, but that's the way it is.

That’s my ultimatum! Now you know how I feel
Jus’ say you’ll eat yer words and I’ll know yer real.
I won’t be so nasty, I’ll give you half a chance.
If you really bug me, then I’ll invade Iran.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
really really really wanna sniff, sniff . . . ahh.

If you wanna be my ally, you gotta submit to me,
Kiss my Texan ass and friendship will forever be,
If you wanna be my ally, you must call me Boss;
Resistance is not easy, so all yer weapons toss.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me
you gotta listen carefully,
We got Condi in the place who’ll get in yer face,
We got Dick like Reagan who likes to stick it in yer _______.
Rummy doesn't give up easy, he's a real mule,
and as for me, I’ll mess with you . . .
Throw yer weapons down and fall down on the ground.
Throw yer weapons down and fall down on the ground.

If you wanna be my ally, you gotta get with my friends,
Kiss up to Israel and friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my ally, you have got to stop,
Fighting seems too easy, but I’ll give you a BOP!.

If you wanna be my ally, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta,
you gotta, you gotta, throw, throw, throw, throw
Throw your weapons down and fall down on the ground.
Throw your weapons down and fall down on the ground.

Throw your weapons down and fall down on the ground.
Throw your weapons down sniff, sniff . . . ahh

If you wanna be my ally.



Update: Um, jus' fer the, uh, record, um, I don't really listen to the Spice Girls, I don't have any Spice Girls t-shirts, and I don't have a Spice Girls CD collection. And, um, no shrine either. Also I don't go into chatrooms under the name Spice-Lover. And Laura has never dressed up fer me as Sporty Spice, and I've never ever asked her to either. Really.