A Disappointing Morning

Okay, today may make me turn back to my original outlook on newspapers. As you may recall, awhile back I found that intriguing article on Beer Pong in the New York Times, so I decided to have another shot and had an aide sneak a copy of the Sunday Times into my office.

In that whole thing, not one article on beer. They have somethin' called an "Arts and Leisure" section, but it's misleadin'. Lotsa art, no leisure. No mention of beer, and no mention of alcoholic beverages of any kind. On top of that, there's some ad for a musical version of Tarzan. They take a great cartoon and try to make it all artsy--like next thing y'know they'll be tryin' to turn it into a novel or something.

So there I am, all disappointed with all that wasted time readin', when I see a copy of yesterday's editorial by George Will on a desk. So I think to myself, "Well, Dubya, he's a pretty conservative writer. Why not give another newspaper a chance and maybe you'll feel like readin's not a total waste." So I pick it up, and instead I wind up feelin' ambushed. Not only does he refer to my nomination of Harriet Miers as an act of "cronyism," but he also calls it "perfect perversity."

Now that is just goin' too far. I'll have you know that Harriet and I have never engaged in a single perverted act. Neither have we engaged in many perverted acts. Nor have we ever engaged in any non-perverted acts that would be considered of an adult nature. So, bottom line, no perversions. No perversity.

After today, I may never read another newspaper as long as I live!

Except, of course, the funnies, 'cause that Cathy just makes me laugh.