Wow, Why is Everyone so Interested in Scooter?

Why is the media all a buzz about Scooter? He's not even my Chief of Staff. He's Dick's Chief of Staff. When in the history of U.S. politics has a Vice President's underling warranted so much attention? I mean, I'm the President. Nothin', and I mean nothin', happens here without my knowin' about it. I'm the one in charge, so if anyone should be gettin' credit for anything it should be me. Yet all I see on the T.V. are images of Scooter doin' this, and Scooter doin' that.

Hey, I just had a meeting with Abbas, and once I get my calendar in order I'll be bringin' peace to the Middle East, so how 'bout givin' the leader of the free world some press?


Update: Okay, I see, he's being investigated. I don't know nothin' 'bout it.