Don't Cry for Me Argentinites

It's jus' wonderful to be in Argentina for th' summit. Everyone loves me and my vision of what the U.S. of A. will bring to the global world community.

The Argentinites wear ski masks to show their love for U.S. skiing, and they light bonfires in celebration of U.S. beach parties. A coupla very excited gents even threw bottles of coke at my motorcade to show their love of U.S. soft drinks. They just love our soda.

Best of all, fireworks are sounded regularly in my honor. They're not very pretty, though, just kinda smoky--in fact, mostly smoke, and they jus' kinda bounce on the street, sometimes into crowds of people. But they're very official fireworks--only launched by state police standing behind clear plastic--y'know, like the kind our riot police use . . .

Um, . . . wait a minute . . .