The Fury a' the Almighty

I hear Pat Robertson's been talkin' 'bout how those evolutionarians in Pennsylvania done poked God in the eye and how they maybe might wanna consider themselves warned about God's fury an' expectin' no mercy should somethin' befall their region.

Well, that's somethin' to think on. I mean, God's been whippin' up some awful storms as of late--in fact, pretty much over the las' five years or so. I oughta know, I remember 'em all since they been stirrin' up ever since I come into office. Huh, how 'bout that? Anyway, some mighty powerful stuff them storms an' all, so beware the Lord's wrath. Pay attention.

I hafta say, though, He's got some kinda bad aim or somthin'. Not to criticize the Big "G" or anythin', but why else would He keep hittin' the red states when I'm sure He's really been meanin' to aim for the blue ones?