Doesn't Matter if the Glass is Half Full or Half Empty

Hi folks, I been away fer a while, but now I is back. I been goin' around our great nation promotin' my policies, an' I gotta say, those Dems sure are a funny bunch. Here we've had months of Republican problems and fumbles, and those Dems still can't get it together. The glass is half filled fer 'em, and they still can't fill it the rest o' the way. That's what happens when ya don't have no head.

What do I means? Well, let me tell ya.

When Al was runnin' against me the first time, the Dems had a charisomatic leader in Bill, but Gore didn't want any o' Clinton rubbin offa him, so's he kept his distance from Bill and lost the election. He done emptied his half full cup without me havin' ta do a darn thing.

After the election, the Dems had a potential leader in Al--boy he was dancin' and loosenin' up after his loss--but then the Dems didn't want the stink o' Al's failure rubbin off on 'em, so's they go an' empty their half glass by distancin' themselves from Al an' wind up losin' the next presidential election as well.

That's why us Republicans are so successful. Everyone always stick by me, no matter what I do. Half full or half empty, my head is the Republican head.

Wait a minute, that didn't come out right . . .