WTF!?! A Talkin' Snowman???

Can he really vote? I mean outside of Chicago.

Space, the Kraziest Kegger!!!

Hey, I wanna be an astronut.
I think I'm qualified.

Progress, Progress, Progress

Here I am makin' progress in Iraq an' the darn Country jus' don't seem ta appreciafy my efforts. Accordin' to a new poll, Americans trust Congress more 'an me. Well, that's jus' horse' shit. Heck, even the Dems associate me with progress in Iraq. Jus' check out one o' they're commercials:

Damn Crank Calls

First thing that happens today is I gets this crank phone caller who yells out, "Hey Bush, maybe tomorrow those dokters will finally find yer head!"

I don't get it. The only thing I got scheduled fer tomorrow is a colonoscopee.

I Think He's Jus' Bein' Mean . . . an' What's this Consititution He's Speakin' of Anyway?!?

What the ?!?

Heinus Lies

Ex-Surgin General Richard Carmona has got sum nerve sayin' that I muzzled him.

I'll have you know, I ain't never put a muzzle on no man--well, at least not since my fraternity days, and only then durin' pledgin' an' such.

I WIN!

Yeeeeee Hawwwww!!!

Score one for the Dubster!

Accordin' to a U.S. Appeels Court, I can secretly wiretap Americans 'cause since it's a secret an' ya can't prove I did it, you can't sue me to make me stop doin' somethin' ya can't be sure I done to ya anyway.

Man, ain't it jus' grand!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!

Remember, on this special American Holiday, the birth of a nation, we as Americans should rememberify the birth of this nation, because this nation was born to fulfill a grate destiny, an' that destiny is to have me preside over the birth of another nation: Iraq.

Really, I'm like a doctor for democracy operating out of the greatest political ER of the world, America. Now bend over.

4th of July, Christmas, What's the Difference?

Hey, what can I say? In my eyes Scooter's prettier than Paris Hilton.

Dang Boat!

How's a guy s'posed ta fish if the dang boat goes an' gets stuck on sum rocks?!?

There's probly a metafur here, but dang if I knows what it is.

Can You Say "Pillow Fight"?

Well, gotta make sure I got all my ducks in an order fer my sleepover with Putin.

Let's see, maybe I oughta make a checklist.

1. Ice cream
2. Chocolate syrup
3. Keg o' beer
4. PJs
5. Hannah Montana DVDs
6. Keg o' Beer
7. Potato chips (NO PRETZELS!)
8. Sleeping bags
   
9. Oh yeah, remind Vlad not to pull Uncle Dick's finger!!!