Memorandom

Note to self: When I'm no longer Presidint do NOT ever drive through South Dakota.

Plans o' Plenty

Tariq al-Hashemi, the Sunni vice president of Iraq, says that the U.S. needs to come up with a "Plan B" fer Iraq. How the heck he get to be Vice President anyway? Shows what he knows. We left "Plan B" a long time ago. We're on "Plan D" now, an' if we need to we'll move all the way to "Plan F."

Pay Attenshun, People!!!

FDA - FYI

Jus' so y'all is aware, the FDA is protectin' people by requirin' that drug company's put warnin' labels on--oh hey, I jus' noticed that my li'l toe can wiggle independently from my big one--on, um, oh yeah, ADHD medications.

Jus' thought you should kn

Presidint's Day

Happy Presidint's Day, everyone!!! I jus' love havin' this special day all fer mee--all fer America's apprecification of yers truly.

But y'know what? I been doin' some thinkin'. We should have a special day fer the great presidint's of our past, like George Warshington an' Abraham Lincoln.

I mentioned it to Karl, an' he jus' chuckled an' said, Good one, Mr. Presidint, good one.

But I don't get it. Good what?

Dammit All, Dick Stole my Copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Well everyone, don't fergit today's the big day fer romance.

I'm headin' out to buy the missus some long-stemmed roses. I was plannin' on a dozen, but I think I'll bump that up to two dozen. She was a might chilly las' night. Not sure why--wouldn't even speak to me.

I sure hope a sweet smellin' bunch of roses on Valentine's Day helps to warm up her heart to her Georgie Porgie.

Update: Dang, no wonder the missus was chilly. YESTERDAY was Valentine's Day!!! Why the heck didn't anyone tell me?

Why, even Barney was on top of things.

Jus' Another YouTuber Helpin' the Terrorists

I wanna know who posted this on YouTube!?! I asked Mikey Chertoff to look into it, but all he did was fall on the floor laughin'.

But hey, it's not funny! If you know who did this, be sure to let me know.



Also, if your gonna watch it, you should watch the whole thang as it really happened. After all, I did engage in witty reparty. Notice the stylin' way I sez "Tooshay"! An' remember, in real life there's no soundtrack, so's how am I s'posed to know he's blind.

Aaarrghhh!!! Darn You Dixie Chicks!

I can't believe the Dixie Chicks won FIVE Grammy Awards.

After they insulted me an' everythin', how can they possibly be successful?

Tenasity

Clint Eastwood sez he doesn't agree with the war in Iraq, but he consedes that I have a lotta tenasity.

It jus' 'bout brought a tear to my eyes. It made me think back ta that first episode of Mary Tyler Moore, when Lou Grant tells Mary that she has spunk.

Well, I gots tenasity.


Update: Okay, I jus' watched that first episode agin, and Lou Grant winds up tellin' Mary that he hates spunk. Um, I sure hope Clint likes tenasity.

$2.9 Trillion Ain't That Much

Come on folks, how 'bout some coin fer the electorially impoverished?

Support my budget an' I'll see that every American gets
the following T-Shirt:

The Big Game

Well, gettin' all ready fer the Super Bowl. Got my chips, got my comfy chair, got my beer tranferred ta non-alcoholic bottles, got my Hi-Def T.V. all warmed up.

Boy, this is really historic, ain't it. Da Bears vs. Indiannapolis.

Man, I didn't even realize them Navy boys played in the NFL--I thought they wuz jus' a college team.

My Hero!!!

I jus' read where some duck got shot, was thunk to be dead, and put in a refrigerater fer two whole days--an' now it looks like its gonna survive an' live.

Well, if that lame duck can make it, maybe I can too.