Whoopsie!

I guess as Congressman Foley found out, sometimes if you grab "seat" then your seat can go up fer grabs.

Ignorance is Bliss

I call on all good Americans to ignore Bob Woodward's new book. Accurdin' to the news, he has the nerve to say that I ignored urgent warnings on Iraq and describes my White House as bein' "riven by dysfunction and division over the war."

As soon as I find out the meanin' of the word riven, I'll let him an' his liberal friends have what fer.

Words Speak Louder than Actions

Now here's a documentary video that understands the power of my words. This'll show everyone better than to misunderestimate my verbal accumints.

Leave Rummy Alone!!!

Them Dems and former military officers better stop pickin' on Rummy. I know he projects that ruff and gruff exterior, but I don't wanna hafta see him cryin' in the halls no more. Believe me folks, when he gets all teary eyed and puffy cheeked it's not pretty.

What I Sez!!!

I can't believe the newspapers are reportin' on some intelligence report that's sayin' that the war in Iraq is fuelin' terrorism. If you asks me, it's fuelin' freedom--and maybe automobiles. Bottom line: the war in Iraq is doin' what I sez it's doin', and intelligence has no place in it.

Wait a minute, that didn't come out right . . .

Movin' Forward

I don't know where MTV gets off reportin' like I backed down to Congress an' the likes of McCain, Graham, an' Warner on the terrorism an' torturin' issue. I is still movin' forward, jus' in a reverse directional fashion.

Confused

Someone sent me this video, an' now I'm confused. Fer one, I can't tell if it's fer me or against me? But the even bigger question is why does that letter "O" look like that? Is that a new kinda "O" or somethin'? 'Cause if it's a new letter in our alfabet, I don't remember approvifying it.

Hooah!!!

My polls have rebounceded back up to 44%.

That means more than half America approvifies of me.

Eat that you liberal Dems.

The Nerve!

I'll be damned. Three senior GOP Senators have the nerve to defy me, the grand leader of their own party. Well, if McCain, Graham, and Warner think they can get away with this jus' 'cause they each have a long an' distinguished history of military service, then they have another think comin'. Perhaps they've forgotten that I prowdly served five an' a half years in the Texas Air National Guard, an' fer four an' a half of 'em I was even present. So I think that people will respect that I have the background to properly interpolate the terms of the Genovese Convention.

I Oughta Know!

The Senate is displayin' nothin' but flawed logic in defyin' me on the terror bill, 'cause if there's one thing I know all about it's flawed logic.

HP Spyin' on Reporters

I hear Hewlett-Packard's been spyin' on journalists. I want America to know that this Presidint is on top of things. I fully intend to look into this. I mean, I wanna know exactly how they did such a good job--maybe get some tips.

Pay Attention to What You Hear!

Just to reiterate from my speech today:

History teaches that misunderestimating the words of evil and ambitious men is a terrible mistake. The world did not heed Lenin's words and paid a terrible price. The Soviet empire he established killed tens of millions and brought the world to the brink of thermonuclear war. The world ignored Hitler's words and paid a terrible price. Bin Laden and his terrorist allies have made their intentions as clear as Lenin and Hitler before them. The question is: Will we listen? Will we pay attention to what these evil men say?

Pay attention. Heed my words and do not ignore me. Dictatorial and ambitious men should not be allowed to go about their business unhindered.

So Democrats should just lie down, shut up, and stop trying to oppose me and my authority. My struggle is great, but my will shall triumph.

If It's Not One Thing It's a Nutter

As if it's not bad enough that the pollin' data is against me on Iraq and liberal generals are cowhering in the Pentagon, but now it seems that the Brits wanna see me get whacked!

BTW, I never have understood that phrase--jus' what the hell is a "Nutter" anyway?